The Power of Words

 

‘That’s so gay.’ These three seemingly innocent words, when strung together, send a message of hate and discrimination.  When people utter this hurtful phrase, what are they trying to say?  ‘Stupid’ is being replaced by the word ‘gay’ in many young peoples’ vocabulary, and it is stunning how frequently it is heard!  Putting these painful words in the atmosphere, make it uncomfortable for many types of people, including myself.  I know that it seems like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but to me, it’s something important.  To me, it stands for equality, and fighting for change.

I graduated from a very small high school in northeast Wisconsin, where everyone knew everyone.  This is also the place that I first heard ‘that’s so gay.’  My classmates were saying it all the time, so I really didn’t think anything of it.  I became so immune to the inappropriateness of the statement, that I started saying it.  One day, I let it slip at home.  My mom heard me say ‘that’s so gay’, and she gave me the longest lecture that I have ever had to sit through.  She explained that gay is not meant to be an insult.  Gay people are just like us and they deserve to be treated with respect.  My mom told me that what I was saying was so offensive, and if a homosexual had heard me say that, it would be extremely hurtful.  From that day on, I have never let those words slip through my lips.

Trying to explain what I had learned from my mom to my friends was a difficult task.  Their response was ‘oh c’mon.  There are no gay kids at our school.  We aren’t offending anyone.’  (This was kind of true.  There were no openly gay kids in our class.  But then again I don’t think anyone would feel comfortable coming out in such a hostile environment.)  I told them the seriousness of their words, but they just blew me off.  My friends indirectly taught me how set in their ways people can be.  It is hard to teach old dogs new tricks, but it is not impossible.

Now that my friends and I have left that school, and have met different kinds of people, their eyes have been opened.  Getting out of that tiny, narrow-minded town, made them realize that their words have consequences, and now, all of them watch what they say. 

If you are still one of those people trying to kick the ‘that’s so gay’ habit, keep this in mind.  What if the roles were reversed?  What if you went to a school where everyone was saying ‘that’s so blond’ or ‘that’s so straight?’  How uncomfortable would you be? Would you hide who you were to avoid being ridiculed?  You wouldn’t dare say ‘that’s so Jewish’ or ‘that’s so black’ so what makes saying ‘that’s so gay’ okay?  Think about the people you are hurting next time you say those three hurtful, discriminating words.